Sunday, September 11, 2011

Warrior Dash Words of Wisdom

(this is my first post from my blogger iPhone app, not exactly sure how it's going to turn out)

Just for the record-I survived and lived to tell about it. See?
Also, just for the record, this was the greatest attended event in Warrior Dash history, and I heard over and over by workers and Warrior Dash veterans that this was by far the hardest dash they had experienced!

Words of Wisdom which may or may not have been learned firsthand by me:

1. When traveling to the Warrior Dash, be sure to ride there with your group. There may be 14,000+ participants and additional spectators to sort through when you get there and you may never find them. Also,  Do not plan to communicate with others in your group or anyone outside of warrior world.  There is no cell service.
14,000+ See?

2. When driving to the Warrior Dash, plan to be there at least 2 hours ahead of your start time as the parking seems to be unorganized and it may take you that long to move 5 miles into the parking lot.

3.  When arriving at your destination, make a conscious effort to turn off your headlights.  Although you needed them while driving through 2 hours of torrential downpour on the drive to the "dash", if you leave them on while you are actually participating, you will return to a car with a dead battery.

4.  Upon leaving your car, be sure to carefully observe where your car is parked or you may spend an hour searching for your car after you have completed the grueling 3.5 mile "dash".

5.  While trudging through the first 300 meters of the "dash" laden with mud that is up to and beyond 18" deep, it is not a good idea to leave your shoe in the mud should it get sucked off your foot.  There are many obstacles ahead including vertical walls to climb, dumpsters to scale, fire hurdles to jump, stoney paths, etc.  Shoes are important.

6.  Although it might seem like a good idea to try to lunge over the huge floating log as the big guys in front of you are just getting over it, these guys are much bigger and stronger than you and the log will inevitably fly back up after they are over and no longer pushing down on it, regardless of where in the process you are.  The log waits for no one and it's not soft and cushiony like one might assume.

7.  If you are a male choosing to wear a funny outfit of some sort, realize that if you wear thin, small undergarments as your "costume", murky water, sweat, and the soupiest mud you've ever encountered will undoubtedly suction this clothing to your nether-regions leaving little to the imagination.

8.  Any and all clothing that is not brown or black before the "dash" will surely be after the "dash."

9.  Do not bother taking any bathing supplies or clean clothes down to the "Warrior Wash."  It is simply a small area of a pond where 14,000+ other warriors have "bathed". This will simply help one get the large clumps of mud off of the outer layer of clothing.  There will still be a nice layer of scum on clothes (and under them) after exiting the "wash."

10.  Last but not least, after using the "Warrior Wash," do not think that just because all of the excess mud in your sight is gone, that you are actually rid of mud clumps..... See?

Can you guess which tips I learned the hard way? :) 

Regardless, I (and possibly you) will be much better prepared for the next Warrior Dash!!! I can't wait till my hubby is home to do it with me! This sort of thing is right up his alley! 


It's a Dog Tag Wife Life said...
September 11, 2011 at 6:26 PM  

Hey, at least you finished! I am running my first Warrior Dash next month and am so excited. I will definitely remember your tips!

sgrossow said...
September 13, 2011 at 10:49 PM  

Can you tell me more about the Warrior Dash. My hubby would probably like it even if he is AF. HaHa. I am purely a spectator. I loved this post. I read it to the hubby and laughed all the way down the list. Not at your expense of course. You made some very good observations.

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